Tag Archives: New York Times

I (bleeping) apologize

I’m reminded of a famous scene in “The Paper”…

SPAULDING GRAY: Well, I hope you’re satisfied, (bleep)! You just blew your chance to cover the world!

MICHAEL KEATON: Really. Well, guess (bleeping) what? I don’t really (bleeping) care. You want to know (bleeping) why? Because I don’t live in the (bleeping) world! I live in (bleeping) New York City, so go (bleep) yourself!

I aplogize

I don’t live in (bleeping) Georgia. I live in (bleeping) Atlanta.

  • Sunday’s Atlanta Journal reported that (bleeping) firearm permits are up 79% in 2008 and attributed the increase to fear “that it might become harder to get a permit during the Obama administration.” I am sincerely hopeful their fears are (bleeping) justified, but am embarrassed and apologize for (bleeping) Georgia.
  • They also reported that our (bleeping) Federal government has asked for an $8.2 million refund from three (bleeping) Georgia school districts that included (bleeping) Atlanta who wrongfully received the millions in per-pupil aid for victims of (bleeping) Katrina. Shame on (bleeping) Georgia. Shame on (bleeping) us. I apologize.
  • The (bleeping) Atlanta Journal reports that our (bleeping) governor, (bleeping) Sonny Perdue, has recommended eliminating all school nurse positions to save money. I can only presume that he feels (bleeping) Georgia is ranked too high on the number of healthy kids. What a (bleeping) jerk. I apologize for Georgia.
  • The (bleeping) New York Times reports that during 2008 (bleeping) Georgia’s welfare rolls shrank by 11% last year and by 70% since early 1990s. I remember reading something about the (bleeping) economy recently. What was it? Oh, yeah, it was the (bleeping) worst time since the (bleeping) depression. Way to go (bleeping) Georgia. I apologize.
  • Even in (bleeping) Georgia, every (bleeping) criminal defendant has the right to be represented by a (bleeping) attorney and if they can not afford one, the (bleeping) court appoints an (bleeping) attorney. The problem in (bleeping) Georgia, is that we don’t provide enough (bleeping) money to pay the (bleeping) public defenders. Sure the (bleeping) high-profile Brian Nichols’ case sucked $1.5 million out of the (bleeping) system last year. But in (bleeping) Georgia, we don’t fund indigent defense with (bleeping) taxes. Since 2004, we fund what we fund with fees and fines imposed on criminal sentences and those filing civil cases. By itself, that is a (bleeping) nasty way to fund it and I apologize for (bleeping) Georgia. But in the “wisdom” of our (bleeping) legislature, we raise too much, so they suck off (intentional) millions each year for other (bleeping) purposes. I apologize for (bleeping) Georgia. And I apologize for defendants not receiving a speedy (bleeping) trial because they have to wait in line to get a (bleeping) attorney. And I apologize to the (bleeping) attorneys for (bleeping) Georgia randomly paying them reduced (bleeping) fees because that’s all the (bleeping) money on hand. Shame on us.

And for all the worst lists that (bleeping) Georgia leads or is among the bottom (here’s a quick, but partial list: Worst (bleeping) Senators; Worst (bleeping) Legislature; Worse (bleeping) Governor (it is a close race to the (bleeping) bottom); Worse (bleeping) Plan for Draught; Worst (bleeping) State Flag; Worst Places to Cast a (bleeping) Vote; Least Progressive (bleeping) State; Worst Infant Mortality; Worst (bleeping) Nursing Homes, Worst (bleeping) Schools; Worst (bleeping) Graduation Rate; Worst (bleeping) Foreclosure Rate; Worst (bleeping) Poverty Income Tax Threshold; Worst in Number of (bleeping)Uninsured; Worst (bleeping) Syphilis and Chlamydia Rates; Worst Funding for (bleeping) Public Health (one might wonder if they are (bleeping) connected); Worst Funded (bleeping) Medicaid Program; Worst (bleeping) Credit Laws; Worst (bleeping) Speed Traps; Worst (bleeping) State for Knowledgeable (bleeping) Drivers; Worst (bleeping) Peanut Plant; Worst (bleeping) Power Plant Pollution; etc. ), I (bleeping) apologize, but I live in (bleeping) Atlanta.

Warning: Don’t Read This Blog

 Following in the footsteps of Greeley, Kent and Lane

There’s little risk here. Of the 200 million or so bloggers, there are only about 50 million blog readers (it is interesting, at least to me, that 62% of internet users report they don’t know what a blog is). It is so easy to write and cite to prove a point of view (especially if you unabashedly willing to use worldwide figures and compare to US figures or don’t mind that each citation has conflicting data, knowing that most people won’t bother to follow the links or the link’s links or read either.

Using a more appropriately “balanced” approach, so often found in “journalism,” would force me to present data that might confusingly conflict with my particular bias de jour (as well as type a lot more words, actually do research, read what I cite, and offer links to websites that, yikes, might disagree with me). For instance, the Wall Street Journal’s (not always a bastion of “balance”) point seems (“seems” is one of the clues that something might be a conclusion of the author while not necessarily something all people might find to be factual and probably isn’t) to be that no one knows what a blog is, who is a blogger, how many blog there are, how often they are published, how often they are visited by real people (could it be that the search engine robots are real people, too?) and if anyone actually reads anything before clicking to their next conclusion (SIC: snooze).

In spite of now clearly demonstrating (as opposed to proving) that no one will actually read this (one possible exception: bloggers who are reading blogs about blogging), it is incumbent upon me to acknowledge the skill and devotion to balanced reporting and grammar (at least, the New York Times Stylebook version) of journalists and newspaper professionals everywhere (except, and in particular, Fox News). Following in the footsteps of Greeley, Kent and Lane, these diligent, hardworking men and women of the Fourth Estate have given up so much (waistlines and potentially more lucrative careers, mostly) so we can be better informed and more effective citizens (and consumers). Thank you (and you know who you are) for so courageously laying the foundation of truth for which we bloggers everywhere now steal the bricks.