Tag Archives: cooking

Boiled Frogs

A recipe for a very rich stew. Serves fewer than 1%.

Cooking Directions:
In a very large melting pot, add 200+or- million domestic and imported frogs, toads, tadpoles, pollywogs and porwigles. Do not preheat. Slowly, ever so slowly, raise the heat over 50 or 60 years.

While constantly stirring, gradually add

  • 4.5+or- % average annual inflation – make sure as much of the increase as possible comes from food, health care, prescriptions, insurance and energy costs, and as little as possible comes from wages;
  • 1+or- % average annual reduction in top marginal tax rates while flattening all tax rates;
  • Easy access to cheap credit – IMPORTANT: gradually reduce access while increasing rates and fees over cooking time – whenever possible, connect credit to home ownership and inflated appraisals;
  • Deregulated banking and securities industries;
  • Offshoring of industrial jobs – IMPORTANT: gradually reduce all anti-trust protection – for the best taste, remove all regulations and protections;
  • Heaping amounts of fear, race and class baiting, nationalism, chauvinism, religious intolerance, ignorance, scandal, distortion, misinformation, spin and Republicans.

During cooking, strain off any frogs that have grown large enough to feed Wall Street.

Just prior to serving, burst any bubbles, which might have formed in housing, stock market or pensions and remove any remaining safety net.

Season to taste with extended patent protection, subverting public utilities, tort “reform”, additional sales and sin taxes, lotto, industrial waste, carbon emissions, special tax breaks for business and the wealthy, criminalization of street drugs, and high fructose corn syrup.

Bon App├ętit.

If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will of course frantically try to clamber out. But if you place it gently in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat on low, it will float there quite placidly. As the water gradually heats up, the frog will sink into a tranquil stupor, exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and before long, with a smile on its face, it will unresistingly allow itself to be boiled to death. – Wikipedia