Dance a Little Sidestep

readers_firestormToday’s New York Times reports that, “President Obama plans to begin addressing the country’s immigration system this year, including looking for a path for illegal immigrants to become legal…”. A critically important issue, but an issue sure to be so contentious that the hold-times for talk radio will increase more than the demands for Wall Street bailouts. An issue so dear to CNN’s (Crazy Neo Nazi) Lou Dobbs, that he will likely pop a goiter live one night soon.

Why would Obama do it? Why now with his plate already filled with two meats of war, the casserole of the economic crisis, the salad of global warming, the raw vegetables of universal healthcare, and the dessert of undoing Bush’s executive orders of mass destruction of our society? Surely, his eyes are too big for his stomach, you say?

Not. This is a tactic right out of the forest fire handbook – create a controlled back burn to use up much of the combustible material so the fire cannot spread and will eventually burn itself out. While the media firestorm burns spectacularly and the party-of-no fiddles, our government will be able to govern. So healthcare can get through committee while the pundits are pedantic. So re-regulation of Wall Street can be voted on before the bailout-funded lobbyists bribe their way to our nowhere. So global cooling can be debated covered by the heat from our southern border. So the Rolls Royce of our military industrial complex, the F-22 can finally stay crashed and burned. So Middle East and North Korea diplomacy can be conducted while Fox debates the fence. So Cuba can be opened. Africa can be saved. Our economy revitalized. “O”, it is so pretty to think so. And, who knows? The immigration issue might actually be vetted and embraced.

There’s risk, of course, that the fire might get out of control, or, were they to shut off the air prematurely, a backdraft could be created. According to Wikipedia, “Backdrafts are very dangerous situations, often surprising firefighters (sic: politicians), regardless of their level of experience. The most common tactic used by firefighters in defusing a potential backdraft is to ventilate from the highest point (sic: the incredibly popular President), allowing the heat and smoke to escape without igniting explosively. Suck up all the air and the fire goes out. It is brilliant.

A variation of this tactic was discussed by another Texas governor, Charles Durning, in this famous clip:

 


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